And Justice For…One

You know that cliché about being careful about what you wish for? That is possibly the most absurd aphorism I have ever heard in my life.

Unfortunately for me, it also happens to be applicable to my life. Figures.

See, I happened to grow up with parents who instilled strong values of actions and consequences, from my attorney mother to my physicist father (I can’t tell you how many times my punishments were set to the tune of “Every action has an equal but opposite reaction”). As a result, I grew up thinking that this simple system of justice was a fine one that the universe should conform to.

And then I entered the unsheltered world and found out how unjust matters really are.

One day, I got fed up with it, and I wished (secretly, mind you – I’m not stupid) that the universe would give people what they deserve for once. I don’t think I used the word karma, but it might have been on my mind. You never know what will spill out of your subconscious.

Turns out that the universe heard me, but it decided that it would try this whole ‘cosmic justice’ experiment out first – on me.

Within a week, I had five speeding tickets (three of them for less than 5 miles over the speed limit, one of them for neglecting to slow down fast enough through a school zone an hour after school had let out), seven collection notices, and two subpoenas. (I fully expected a third subpoena, but I’m not about to complain to the universe about that now.)

I guess what I had forgotten is that justice is not only blind but also double-edged: it demands that you get what you deserve, but sometimes you get what you deserve.

Oh, how I long for the days when “just deserts” was merely a culinary option.